Money Ruins Everything

Whoever invented money, pure genius yea, but pure- fuck everything else a life is worth living for up- also. Money creates stress, but it is needed to survive in this current world. If there was ever some way to find a life that isn't surrounded by money, then I want that. I would give up every worldly possession I own for just a few things in life. Unconditional love to a wife that gives it right back, friends that have your back til the day you die, and maybe a life lived so others are happy, at peace, content and loved. Money has blessed my life with material things that, don't get me wrong, are completely awesome. It has also destroyed my life. Parents forgetting about love, fighting over possessions, fighting over who owes what to whom. FUCK THAT SHIT! I wanna live at peace and want everyone else to live without the burden of money. Just have a few close friends, have a wife that knows I will never leave her for things that won't matter in the end. Money is important yea, but I hate when it consumes our lives, which in this culture, happens every day.

When Summer Starts

It's always been a time of awesome relaxation, a time to stretch out and live free of worries for three months. But this time, its not a summer feeling that I get, not the feeling of joy to be done with school.

There has been this amazing thing going on in my life this past month. It's hard to explain. A group of people that didn't know each other to the slightest degree find each other, and in some way mesh together to form a bond that, in all reality, I hope lasts a life time. The friendships we make, the people we are around all the time make for a beautiful life. They are what helps you wake up in the morning knowing that there are people out there that you know are great friends that want exactly what you want. Someone else to do life with.

Getting to know such amazing people has truly been a blessing and I couldn't ask for a better life. Old friends too are still so much apart of me, but when you combine all the people you are close to, get them in one place to have a good time, you simply don't need anything else. This summer is different from all others before because all these people will be away, off to another state, another country, another home away from home. It will be months where you wake up and know you can't just go hang out, or do fun shit with everyone you've grown to love. I am kind of hoping it goes by fast, not because I want to get back into the hard ass grind of going to school, but because I want to live with that feeling, knowing that your friends can experience everything you are in this crazy world. All be there together, livin up the best years of our lives.

Not that this all makes sense, its just written

ME?

Wait, a movement, check

Into the unknown docks, of your mind

Peaking through is a shot of solid rock with

Crumbling edges that fall between

Hands, little fingers which only hold, strength keeps up

A piece of your own body, breathing

Games watched over by a power, our own heart

Pumps in continuous shakes, each shake

Another second gone, into a sinking

Lapse, in time? What time? This time

We see true potential, your own child

Thriving from unexpected, shattering marriage

Grow, up in here, there is no oxygen

Hold in each chance, it wants to escape

Exploding by, with you, standing, in

Front we can all witness, now

Every still fragment, walking in line

Each showing a life run out, lived by what

We have given in, into the world who made

Us, us without another consideration to whom

This all could belong to, even if it is suppose

To belong, for in so much vast, there is me

Who does? Who is? Who lives?

What 2 Weeks Can Bring

For the past couple of weeks I have rarely been extremely upset or irritated. Sure the occasional mishap and sucky luck but life has shot off like I didn't think was possible. A smile rarely leaves my face even through the stuff that isn't so pleasant. This new house gives me such a good vibe and I can see myself becoming extremely close with the people who will live in it and the friends that come to visit. I am by far one of the luckiest kids in the world and am truly blessed. This life we live isn't long so I'm grateful for the utter happiness that has consumed me for these short weeks. I can only wish other people in the world get to experience such joy at any point in their life.

Living to be Alive

I am currently in no mood to move, in no mood to do what is asked of me. My body is sick, but my mind is probably much more sick. To begin looking at a human life as a whole is scary. You are born into a world you have absolutely no control over, only to grow old in a world you have no control over. What if at some point in this life we do see what we are suppose to see. The earth sustaining a species unlike any other. We possess a brain so amazing, so complex and beautiful, but so fragile. As of now I am sitting in a room I call my own, huddled inside a jacket I call my own, but am inside a body that is hard to call my own because what is my body to me? A living organism that breathes, thinks, does, and ultimately lives. So why not make this life something worth doing. Brought up in a society that values money, fame, and popularity more than anything else, it makes you think where do I sit between all of this. Do I go to school, just to learn stuff to get me a good job so later in life I can go to work everyday and call my life amazing. This view can only be improved, like my daily living and daily discovering. Maybe I am going to school to expand my knowledge about who I am and how I can impact this world with the knowledge that is taught to me. I possess a brain that can learn and unlimited amount of things. Only I can choose these things to learn about.

There have been days when I rise from a sleep that I thought was peaceful, only to be brought back into a life that I don't want to live. Late last year I was prescribed medicine to "fix" the problems I had about self worth and pondering whether I should remain on this earth. Maybe they worked. Maybe they didn't. I chose to stop takin these little pieces of white magic so I could find out what really is inside myself. They coated over the problem and could have fixed it in the end, but now I look back and see I shouldn't be choosing whether to live or die, I should be choosing how to live in order to feel completely alive. Wealth and fame is the goal for all American children right? When you are little you have dreams of becoming something amazing that the world looks at in wonder. Now I am still and uneducated, young adult that looks at the world and asks what kind of life should I live. I know that the more I learn the better off I will be, but what I learn about doesn't have to be about things that will get me an amazing life in the future. I want to know whats inside of myself, how far am I willing to go to discover a life I am content with whether it be with me living in a mansion, or some hut in Africa. Every day every one of us gets up and looks in the mirror just to glance at something we think we see. What if every day you woke up and saw something for what it truly was. My only hope is that I can grow, and keep growing knowing that a vast world awaits.

I know you're safe, wherever you are

Moments don't last forever. Leaving this earth is too far away to think about right? I guess some sort of life would be one you enjoyed, learned from, experienced, and lived at your best not knowing what the future holds. So, if a moment gives you a good picture of your life, stop and take a look for awhile. This is it, our lives continue no matter what. Reaching for the top is a way to live, but experiencing each moment for what its worth is all we can do til we get there.

For I

Forget me for I

Am gone. From this place

Ment to disappear for I

Hate. What has become

Leave me behind for I

Will. Be in no place here

Shoulders burdened for I

Just want. Time to fall

Sinking into dark for I

Waste. Life that I have

Overcome by them for I

Can't give up the drugs