Waving Goodbye

it’s my sanity

i watch it go

making no effort to wave goodbye

standing in a small white plastic box

close as possible to the motion sensor

just so the room temperature water

has a chance to spurt out

of a shower head installed for little children

staggered streams hitting the center

of my spine that starts to shiver then

gives out under the current reality

still my sanity leaves

without even pushing aside a curtain

to walk away, no strings attached

for they wouldn’t want to find you

hanging there

with plastic around your neck

to remove your own life

just like the fifteen other people

wanting to

admitted to this world of help

all in their beds covered in thin

shattered sheets

reflecting upon past attempts

they all have motion sensors

in their little white boxes too

now

if only the water would stay on

long enough to form a puddle

maybe being found face down

would be better

or maybe i should just try

reeling back the tiny pieces of sanity

collecting them together

opening up a numb mind

so i can shove them inside again

they could be useful down the road

i would have wanted to wave goodbye anyway