LOST IN THE DEPTH OF MUSIC

There is something about music, mostly house, trance, techno, whatever you wanna call it, that lets me let go of all thoughts and current reality. I love the feeling of just drifting from this world in long continuous thoughts and sometimes blank thoughts where nothing seems to blend or take shape. Without music i would be an utter wreck! I couldn't ever get homework or reading done and life would most certainly be much less interesting. The escape it provides is like nothing else. I feel like reality gets swallowed whole and you are left with purity alone. There is also some kind of happiness and joy that sweeps though my entire body when a happy trance song comes on. Especially while im driving and my iPod begins playing one of my favorites. It is the ultimate experience of true freedom. In those moments i live in a world of peace and stability with no problem, no goals, no regrets, no worries. It us utter happiness and im blessed to be able to experience such a feeling. Many days go by when i know most people don't see the true freedom and experience true happiness. I feel bad that i can't share this feeling with others. Being alone and figuring out who i am individually has really helped me realize what other do for me in my life. Having a person to be in a relationship is great and there aren't many things in this world that can compare to such and experience, but since i have been goin steady with being by myself and solo i have learned to really figure out how to make myself happy. For the first time ever i think i have looked past on depending on a girl and felt comfortable living my life for once. Its amazing and i am enjoying it. Don't get me wrong i have my lonely moments of longing for someone to lay next to at night, but for the most part I am glad to of had this time to discover myself. ITs interesting how music can make your thoughts flow into things you probably would have never of thought about otherwise. Trance has blessed my life and i will probably listen to it for many years to come, if not until i dye. It is beautiful. While the world around us seems to crumble ever so slowly, This music brings me to a place of refuge and security. Close your eyes and listen for yourself, maybe you will find something hiding within as well?

THE MIND DOES WANDER

Sometimes you feel like you've screwed up a lot along the way. You aren't really sure of how or why or what got you to the now, the present. I guess that's pretty normal. A fresh new beginning would be nice sometimes. How do you know when that starts? Do you just go along with life and let stuff pass by and say you are going with the flow? Or do you care about stuff and get all worked up over things that could be looked over any other day of the week. Where is that equal medium that we all look for? You can be a victim or you can knuckle up and forget what the past has told you. Either way life doesn't get any easier until you figure out how to make this world the place YOU want it to be. I've certainly realized that hard work pays of in the end. This doesn't always happen how you want it to, but it does or will some day. I should probably work harder at the pressing matters in my own life. Again i guess this goes back to screwing up and regretting things that won't ever change. There are so many questions people have about life. I know i do. Is it possible that i just over-think everything; im sure it is, but maybe thinking about direction and what really matters is what i like to do. Granted, life is not some board game where we simply try to accomplish one goal. Things get a little more complex now and then. Who am i kidding though, my life is easy right. Money and good fortune is there for the most part. I don't go hungry every night of my life. I have nice things like a tv, a computer, a car, i mean what more could a 20 year old kid ask for? A dog. An English bulldog is what i want. A companion who doesn't give two shades of shit what you look like, how you smell, how sad you get, how mad you get, how smart or dumb you are........it would keep loving you all the same. God does that too right? I believe he does and is suppose to. But you don't always feel that. At least i don't. Maybe the farther you personally drift from him the farther away his love seems. Guess what, that makes it MY responsibility to pursue him doesn't it. Easier than it sounds most days. Then again most days, aren't most days.

TRANCE

The beat swallows all fear

Building on the past

Many surroundings wander lost

It will conquer until the peak

Here it all is

Waiting is over and it flows

Nothing can resonate above this

Awaken as it lightens today

Opening the mind in answer

A story unfolds of any kind

Like the third day it rises

Always will it be

Bringing in all pandemonium

Smile to devour the music

Resist none and listen

NO MATTER

You disappear lost and forgotten

You think worst above all

It will not take it over forever

It can’t be permanent

Our confidence is perspective

Our smile is our own

The subconscious desire for pity

The mind lingers low in hate

Forget what isn’t or could be

Forget the shame of mistake

Believe the glow inside

Believe life is light

Worse will be forever possible

Worse is in existence

Enjoy the deep breathe you have

Enjoy despite the suffering

For life is good

MY WALK

With every day distance is gained

I fall farther away from the truth

From light

Every step is a question of you

I wander in search of forgiveness

Of resurrection

Failure is all too common

I will continue in disappointment

In evil

The right path is well lit

I know that you will always be there

Be here

The struggle will continue

I believe you can win above

Can forgive

All that i have done is haunting

I try to forget the many mistakes

Forget myself

You lift me back up to see

I can and will persevere

Will love

CLOSE LOOK

Fading around you

The silence gets pushed away

Thoughts creep under breathe

The sun is buried

Eyelids sink into their place

Blood flow slows and you sway

Fallow the mind

The distance is vaguely heavy

Overlooking the simple greatness

Here it begins

Uncover the thick truth

It’s only there as time waits

Let it all return

This is beauty becoming itself